Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Would Ya Like Fries With That?

Or, More Stuff They Never Told Us We'd Have To Do in Paralegal School

Maybe I'm speaking out of turn here, but I think many of us pursued advanced education and paralegal training, so we wouldn't have to man the drive-thru window and repeatedly ask the public, "Would ya like fries with that?"

Because Practical Paralegalism is all about transparency when it comes to disclosing the pros and cons of the paralegal profession, it's my moral obligation to tell all ya'll paralegal students and newbies that after you get that degree, you still might have to man a drive-thru window, even if you get a great paralegal job and are rocking that off-the-rack suit your mom bought you at JCPenney and sensible pumps.

(Before you read any further, please don't shoot or blitz the messenger with hate email. I just calls 'em as I sees 'em.)

A Connecticut law firm specializing in personal injury and malpractice, The Kocian Law Group, now offers a drive-thru window at its newly renovated office on Middle Turnpike West in Manchester. This actually wasn't the result of some attorney's brilliant, midnight epiphany, "Shazam, I'ma kick the competition in the tail by offering drive-by legal services!" The building was a former Kenny Rogers Roasters (ya'll I did not know that The Gambler was in the healthy meal business worldwide, including Malaysia) and already had a drive thru window.

Kocian says he's been told this is the first drive thru legal service in Connecticut, and possibly the country. It's all about convenience for the customer, by offering an easy way for them to drop off and pick up documents.

"We represent a lot of injured people," said Kocian. "If you have somebody who's in a wheelchair or somebody who's hurt, it's convenient. We represent a lot of workers compensation claimants. They have to come pick up their checks once a week."

A paralegal mans the window, handing over documents to customers and answering any questions they have.

"They really love it. It's convenient for them," said Rosa Castillo, one of the firm's paralegals.

The firm has also expanded its hours - and is open nights and weekends.

Check out the video with the article; it looks like the paralegal's desk is right in front of the drive-thru window.

Talk about an office with a view.

I think another country singer, Tim McGraw, sums up the joys of drive-thru customer service real well:

Your ketchup's in the bag
And a check is in the mail
I hope your chicken's raw inside
And I hope your bun is stale
I'm supposed to tell you"Please come back"
But how bout this instead?
I hope you both choke on a pickle
Man, that would tickle me to death
I don't know what you're waiting on
You're holding up the line
Oh man, you ain't got no change coming back
Are you out of your mind?


  1. It does not seem the start of a trend. The paralegal at the window should get extra pay for the risk of more auto exhaust. The staff will want very capable support at this customer interface, no newbies.

  2. Auto exhaust. Good point.

    I think the staffer assigned to the window should also get hazardous duty pay. In my experience, unhappy customers are much more likely to yell at the folks *without* JD behind their name.


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