Tuesday, October 19, 2010

More Paralegal Cautionary Tales

Or, Oh, No, You Di'int

I'm back with the latest installment of stuff we wish hadn't happened, but allegedly did.


  • “My bad,” was a California legal secretary’s response to her former supervising attorney when she was initially busted for writing a mere $1,800 worth of checks out of his business account - including one to her mortgage company. Now, after being charged with forging over 100 checks totaling $120,000 out of that account, she can tell it to the judge. (Crestline Courier-News)
  • “It was also the bus matron’s fault,” says the wife of a New York man who left his job as a legal assistant, and got a new job driving a school bus. Legal assistants are supposed to notice things other people miss, but after his third week on the job, he illegally parked the bus and went home – not noticing a three-year old passenger was still on board. “My bad,” probably won’t cut it here either. (New York’s WPIX-TV)
  • A California fisherman is still (weirdly) able to laugh about losing (almost) every last dime he had - to the tune of $24,000 - to a shady process server who assured him she’d help him pursue his pro-per negligence lawsuit against a hospital. The process server is accused of not doing anything to help him pursue the litigation, instead helping herself liberally to the contents of his checking account, and even creating a fake paralegal, aptly named Hope, as part of the scam. (New Times SLO)
  • Oh, yes, those bats do too stink up the place. Government officials have brought on the mac daddy air freshener and are serving an eviction notice on a colony of bats currently occupying the Anderson County Courthouse Annex building in Anderson, South Carolina. According to a paralegal who works in the building, the heat from the afternoon sun really brings out the fragrance of bat droppings. (All of a sudden your bat-dropping-free cubicle looks pretty good, huh?) (WYFF Greenville)
  • A Massachusetts paralegal/office manager and her lawyer spouse have been charged with embezzling more than $1 million from several extraordinarily trusting clients, as well as several (former) friends. They allegedly convinced and/or tricked their victims into refinancing or mortgaging their homes for very large sums - with the property and proceeds going directly into the accounts and pockets of the accused thieves. (If you're worried that this pair of alleged con artists is still at large, the judge slapped GPS monitoring bracelets on them and ordered them confined in their home.) (Boston Herald and Middlesex District Attorney)

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The photo is my best Oh-No-You-Di'int-Face I could find, but it's really just me wearing an awesome dragon mask my oldest kid, the graduate student in costume construction, made. This mask helped her land a really cool summer job in NYC making costumes for Broadway shows.

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