Working Girl Wednesday: I'm Every Paralegal

It's spring break, and the best part is that I have the car all to myself this week, even if the teens are eating me out of house and home. This means I get to listen to the oldies station, where I sing along to every song. Because I'm an oldie and I get caught up in the joy of remembering all the words.

So I'm singing off key as loud as I can to Chaka Khan belting "I'm Every Woman" and then it hits me. This is our song (stay with me, this is like our holiday I didn't know about). Seriously it's about us, if we just change the title to "I'm Every Paralegal" (and sing the extra two syllables really fast).

Just follow along with the slightly edited lyrics - and a few explanatory asides:

I'm Every Paralegal

I'm every paralegal, it's all in me [because I do everything around here]

Anything you want done, lawyer

I'll do it naturally [because I do everything around here]

I can read your thoughts right now [you want me to stay late and copy exhibits]

Every one from A to Z.

I can cast a spell [over the jammed copier]

With secrets I can't tell [maintaining client confidentiality]

Mix a special brew [our sixth pot of coffee]

Put fire inside of you [by reminding you the SoL expires in two hours]

But anytime you feel

Danger or fear

Instantly I will appear, 'cause [you called me into your office to add to my to-do list]

CHORUS

I can sense your needs [with our great case management software]
Like rain on to the seeds [of your to-do list]

I can make a rhyme

Of confusion in your mind [oops, sorry about that typo]

And when it comes down to old fashioned love [of my mad skills and the legal field]

That's what I've got plenty of, 'cause

CHORUS (Sing it, my sistas & brothas!)

I ain't braggin' 'cause I'm the one [I am, a little]

You just ask me ooh and it shall be done

And don't bother to compare

'Cause I've got it

I've got it, I've got it, yeah

I'm every paralegal (repeat and fade)

Whew, dontcha feel good? No? Mebbe you need to go get in your car, play this song so loud that the windows shake, and work it out Chaka style.