If you want to make rain, or maybe just wet your pants from laughing at the legal profession, don’t miss the acerbic tweets of Richard Prickman and his partner "scared clients into hiring me" Beatrice Bitcher, venerable (fictional) attorneys at Prickman & Bitcher and alter egos of attorney Charles Pugsley Fincher, Esq., acclaimed legal and political wit, cartoonist and artist at LawComix (source of the coolest legal gifts ever).
Not only are Dick and Bea hilarious (I feel like we’re on a first name basis as long as I pay my bills on time), but unlike the more innocuous cartoon characters in your morning paper, they will actually deign to converse with you – as long as they can send you a bill for it. In real life, you’d hide under your desk if you saw them first.
Dick in particular is a real sensitive guy with a fondness for his underlings, especially intrepid associates Natalie and Edward. His June 17 tweet is spot-on and reflective of the tough economic climate for young lawyers: “Damn associates…don’t want pay cuts.” On July 17, he generously tweeted to the JD Journal, "We're willing to accept all deferred summer associates willing to pay us for doing so."
And he has a genuine concern for his staff’s holiday time, as he tweeted on July 3, “Just got a warm feeling. I thought of some discovery due Monday that I can get my associate Natalie to work on over the weekend.”
He also has a heartfelt concern for the public’s enjoyment of the holiday, “Damn. I even had my investigator shoot Roman candles at people and no one got injured. So much for Fourth lawsuits for me.”
Still, the concern for his staff’s well-being never stops, as indicated by Dick's July 10 tweet, “Not easy being out on the bay sailing knowing associates are back at the office working on Saturday. Hope for more of both Sunday.” (Don’t miss his series of tweets about squishing Edward with his boat.)
Best of all, Dick adores paralegals and tweets about them frequently, although I suspect he has staff issues (he has a sociopathic legal secretary). He also tweeted on July 3, “Re: Palin resignation. Yesterday, my disgruntled paralegal sent copies of romantic e-mails between Sarah and me to WaPo. Damage control time.” He doesn’t seem like the bonus type so I’ve kept a close eye on The Washington Post for a Prickman expose.
I guess because he didn’t give her a hush bonus, on July 14 Dick’s paralegal wondered “why she makes less than first year associate.” He advised her that “'para-' means ‘assistant’ and ‘subsidiary.’ It's what you call yourself.” Being a feisty gal and guaranteed a job for life due to the Palin scoop, she “countered with other meaning of 'para-': ‘beyond’ as in paranormal." Dick mused, "Impressed me. Not enough for raise, though.”
Last week, Dick had kind of a rough rainmaking episode, because his lunch guests didn’t disclose they were interviewing other firms until after he’d already paid the bill. In a funk, he tweeted, “Back at the firm. Blue over not making rain at lunch. Need to rag on associates, paralegals to regain ego balance.” I tried to boost his spirits by getting him some more Twitter followers, tweeting, “Associates and paralegals, follow @RichardPrickman and rag on him to help retain ego!” (So I mixed up one consonant – oops.)
He grumbled, “If I were paying your para-salary, you'd show some para-sensitivity to my para-blues.” Then he said, “Oh, God. Now you’re forming a para-posse.”
That is the most awesome term ever, and I am wrestling with renaming this blog “The Para-Posse” but I’m pretty sure if I do, Dick will sue me.
When I asked Dick if I could swipe his mug shot for this post, he acquiesced but tweeted, “I knew you were gonna mug me.” See, he really loves paralegals.