Paralegal Career Dressing: What's Wrong with Being the Mother-of-the-Bride?

I'm of an age where I like Steinmart, sort of considered a destination for the older crowd in our neck of the woods. No, you don't see too many young whippersnappers in there, but if you need a mother-of-the-bride dress, you are guaranteed a hit. I like to wait for the 40-60-80% off the Red Dot clearance rack sales, and then go in for the kill, like for this jacket I'd been watching for a few months. I like buttons and piping.

Cass jacket (Steinmart red dot clearance); Cloud Nine t-shirt (old); Loft skirt (50% off clearance rack); Tights (We Love Colors); Aigner pumps (Ross Dress for Less); Earrings (Jada's Jewels)

My boss gave Bucky an attitude, and possibly me one, too :P

I like my men tall and dead. Shoutout to Eric the Northman and Vampire Bill!

Does anyone have any Visine?

So, will you admit to shopping in any store your mom likes?

Paralegal Profile: Jill G. Nelson, NCCP

Jill Nelson

Job Title: Paralegal

Employer: Tharrington Smith, LLP, Raleigh, NC

Years of Paralegal Experience: 5

Education/Degrees: UNC Chapel Hill - B.A. in English; Duke University – Paralegal Certification

Specialty Areas: Family Law

Career Highlight: Joining Tharrington Smith, LLP. I love the people that I work with, and they have opened so many doors for me professionally.

How to Curse Under Your Breath with Culture

Write these down. You might need them later.

Sometimes a paralegal that works in an adversarial specialty area like litigation needs to mumble something nasty under her breath, while still maintaining professionalism and not cursing at the office. But what to say, what to say?

Maybe a nice combo from the "Shakespeare Insult Kit" will fill the bill, fulfilling the urge to stay something brilliantly derogatory, yet completely unintelligible to the intended target anyone within hearing range.

I'm saving these for a particularly evil-tempered day (not especially mine, but sometimes in litigation, peeps on the other side are unnecessarily mean):

• Thou mammering milk-livered minnow (I like alliteration)
• Thou lumpish fool-born barnacle
• Thou reeky rump-fed scut
• Thou unmuzzled knotty-pated canker-blossom

These are good - and satisfying. Take that, you villainous doghearted measle.

What's your fave?

Searches that Found this Paralegal Blog (and Made Me Cry)

The Corginator's not THAT bad...

Okay, just kidding about that last part, but not entirely.

Here's a few of the funnier Internet search queries that landed readers at Practical Paralegalism:

• "appropreiate paralegal business attire" (please, please don't let this be a paralegal)
• "quail" "quail pics" (because that's a serious hobby of mine. Not.)
• "halo kitty" (um, again, please don't let this be a paralegal. Plus, our cat threw up on my stove once, so I'm pretty sure I didn't use halo and cat in the same sentence.)
• "dom perignon" (yes, do send me a bottle) also "don perion" (please don't let that be a paralegal student)
• "corgi bad" (how did you know The Corginator thinks that's her name?)
• "high end litigators briefcase" (do you know how much those babies cost? Paralegals can't afford them.)
• "stacy london legs" (well she does have great legs and great style)
• "hipaa cartoons" (I am proud of posting one once. Do you know how hard it is to find anything funny about HIPAA?)
• "how many people work through lunch" (well, I guess I'm kinda an expert at working through lunch)

Also, I discovered I'm popular in the Ukraine, probably where all the spammers live.

Today's Quote: What's Better than a Kindle Fire?

You do not have a traditional legal assistant career path? We are more interested in someone who has an entrepreneurial spirit, great energy, and is not afraid of taking on new challenges! So if you have such qualities and want to work hard, have fun, and make history, please apply! ~ Excerpt from Amazon's ad for a Contract Manager for Kindle

A job as a Kindle Contract Manager in New York! (I love a good exclamation point!)

I'd also like to nominate this language from the ad for best qualification I've seen in a while, and you know I love the paralegal want ads:

React with appropriate urgency to situations and events that require a quick response or turnaround and the ability to take effective action without having to know the total picture

That sounds slightly less fun...

Paralegal Career Dressing: Tuesday's Deal Is Bold Floral at Target

What is today? Is it still Tuesday? I have Paralegalitis so bad today that I think I may have to be retired to that mythical Home for Paralegals. I just made all that up, but I believe it, which is the most important part of the cure...I think.

Sometimes a bright and beautiful scarf is all that stands between you and putting your head down on your desk and crying. Or you can wipe your tears with the edges. Or strangle your boss/co-workers/IT guy/opposing parties/yourself. It's versatile that way :P

Merona Pink Bold Floral Print Scarf ~ $14.99 (Target)

Paralegal Career Dressing: Visible Monday

The terrific style blog Not Dead Yet Style has a neat weekly event called Visible Monday, where style bloggers share an outfit or accessory that makes them "feel more confident, alive and visible that day." Which I will do, too, as soon as I figure out how.

I think my visible accessory was my red tights on Monday. Almost every single person I ran into mentioned them, and generally favorably, too :P (On an unrelated note, it was the worst Monday I've had in a while. It'll require a separate post after I've recovered from it...)

If you're wondering why you're seeing so much of Bucky this week, my supervising attorney keeps coming into my office and posing him. When he tried placing Bucky's hand on his hip on Monday, he complained that Bucky was a cheap piece of crap that didn't work right. I explained that Bucky is actually a moderately pricey, fully-articulated skeleton, and that the reason he wasn't posing right was because my boss was pretty much dislocating Bucky's shoulder.

Target scarf (Christmas gift from Teen); Loft skirt (thrifted); Tahari t-shirt (real old); Red tights (part of a $2.99 twofer from Hamricks); Aigner Mary Janes (Ross Dress for Less); Mossimo grey sweater (not seen because I was over-heating again); Magnetic Fashener

If I wasn't taking my own pictures, I'd know the maker tag on my scarf was showing. On the other hand, Dear Hubby and The Teen don't tell me these things when they take the outfit pics either.

Oh, earrings from a $5.99 Walmart three-pack. Sometimes I forget I'm there to get groceries.

It's like Where's Waldo, except you're looking for the Fashener :)

What's your favorite outfit or accessory to raise your spirits on Mondays?

Sweet iPad App for Paralegals: Allrecipes, Your Kitchen Inspiration

Allrecipes

For the record, I can follow directions cook. My real problem is the inability to think of anything to cook.

Seriously, for a paralegal that has a reputation as a creative problem solver, I'm a dud when it comes to making dinner plans. I'll wander down the grocery store aisles uninspired, stressed out, and leave with the ingredients for grill cheese sandwiches. Again.

But I recently downloaded the free Allrecipes iPad App, and liked it so much that I spent the extra coupla bucks to upgrade to the pro version.

Seriously, all you have to do is select the course, the ingredient(s), the cooking method - and how long you want to cook (for me, as short a time as possible) - and then pictures of recipes within those parameters parade across your iPad screen.

Suddenly, you're seriously hungry, and ready to cook something specific!

With the pro version, you get a recipe box for your faves, and the app makes your shopping list.

For a few bucks more, this app will cook your dinner!

Oh, gosh, I got carried away there, but seriously, Apple, could ya work on this?

This is how great this app is. One teen said she wanted Beef Burgundy because someone brought the dish to French class, and she only got a bite - and I made it! Me, the face of Hamburger Helper, made it from scratch!

Like I said, a sweet app for paralegals.

Former Paralegal Sues State of Connecticut for Unpaid Vacation Time

Whatever you do, don't let this "erroneously accrue."

The moral of this news story might be to not let your vacation time accrue. Take it now.

However, Paula McIlduff, a paralegal who retired from the Connecticut Office of the Claims Commissioner last year after a stellar 26-year career, thought she was helping her short-staffed department by not taking 480 hours of accrued vacation time, which had a value of around $15,000.

The hard-working paralegal wasn't worried about not being compensated, because she had a 2008 letter from the Office of State Comptroller, assuring her she would be compensated for the unused time upon retirement.

McIlduff pointed out to the CT Post that using the vacation time would have resulted in her extended absence from work:

Practical Paralegalism's Recommended Reading this Week

I blog for paralegals and legal professionals to share information they may find helpful for professional development, or simply entertaining during a fast-paced week. Once a week (or less when Life happens - expect less with many projects looming in 2012), I share links to a half dozen or so articles focusing on law practice and technology, professionalism, career dressing on a budget, legal news, and hopefully, a good laugh or two.

I also share the daily minutia of a paralegal and working mom at Practical Paralegalism's Facebook Page and via my Twitter Feed, @ExpertParalegal.

Here are this week's links:

Paralegal Career Dressing: Monday's Deal Is Cropped & Feminine at Target

I think it's hard to beat Target's sales for beautiful cardigans to re-mix with your career basics. Even though this one is technically for juniors, sometimes you need the shorter, cropped cardigans, especially for dresses and full skirts. I think this one wants to be my 49th birthday prezzie...

Mossimo Supply Co Juniors Cropped Feminine Cardigan ~ $17.99

Paralegal Career Dressing: It's a Wrap Again

When I've mentioned wearing wrap dresses to work in the past, occasionally a reader will tell me these dresses feel a little too clingy or revealing for a conservative office. Actually, I feel the same, and almost donated a couple of wrap dresses I wasn't wearing very often. But inspired by other style bloggers, I decided to give this London Times wrap dress another shot, partly because of the unseasonably warm winter we've been cautiously enjoying (I know we're gonna pay for this with a March blizzard).

The secret to comfortably wearing a slinky wrap dress to a law office? Layering with a cardigan or jacket, and using a Fashener, http://www.fasheners.com/, at the neck line to make sure there are no unseemly surprise displays. I used a tiny black one which blended right into the pattern of the dress.

London Times wrap dress (long time ago but under $25 because I had weird personal price limit set :p); MODA cardigan (Victoria's Secret clearance); Wide belt (probably Ross Dress for Less cheap); Aigner Mary Janes (Ross Dress for Less @$16); Hoops (old); Tights (Target)

None of the paper on the shelves behind me is actually used, because we've been scanning everything for years. We just haven't had the time to clean off the shelves. I smell a project for a summer intern...

I read some style photo advice that said not to look into the camera, but I simply look lost :P

Really clueless. What did you say my name was again?

Are you comfortable wearing wrap dresses to law firms, legal departments, and other types of conservative offices?

Paralegal Career Dressing: Can't Tie a Bow? Use a Fashener

You know I love my bow tie blouses. But for some reason, I'm all thumbs trying to make pretty bows - on anything - including little girls' hair, holiday packages, and my own blouses. For this outfit, one of Mina's magnetic Fasheners, http://www.etsy.com/shop/fasheners, saved the day.

George cardigan (Walmart); Ralph Lauren slacks (thrifted @$11); Bow-tie blouse (Gap clearance); Booties (Ross Dress for Less @$14); Belt (Rugged Wearhouse @$4); Black onyx magnetic Fashener; Earrings (so old I've forgotten)

The Fashener saves the day.

Black Onyx Magnetic Fashener ~ $13.75

P.S. This not a sponsored post. I did review Fasheners last year, and liked them so much I bought them for Christmas gifts for my co-workers, and purchased a few more for me.

Was It Worth It, Bonnie?

I suspect all of you know who Bonnie Sweeten is, i.e. pretty much the most infamous former paralegal in America, if not the world, recently sentenced to prison for multiple crimes.

What did she do?

What didn't she do?

Steal over a million dollars during a five-year period from law firm clients, co-workers, and even an elderly relative's retirement account?

Check.

Lie to her second husband about graduating from law school, and let him throw a party to celebrate?

Check.

Pose as an attorney, her boss actually, at a real estate closing?

Check.

Submit a false kidnapping report to local police, going so far to say she and her 9-year old daughter were in the trunk of two African Americans' car, when she was really on a flight to Disney World?

Check.

What motivated all this? According to her defense attorney, dependency on migraine medication, and the desire for expensive repeat in-vitro fertilization treatments.

According to prosecutors, plain ol' desire for a pricey home, cars, and vacations.

Well, I guess she did get sort of a vacation, if you think 100 months in federal prison is getting away from it all.

The irony of her claim that she wanted to be a mom again, is that she won't be able to mother her children much from federal prison. In addition to the loss of her paralegal career - or any career that requires a background check, her reputation, her freedom, and her spouse, she's lost most of her children's childhood.

Was it worth it, Bonnie?

Sources:  Philly.com; CBS News

Let's Give a High Five to Paralegals Making Good News!

Okay, this one was cuter than peeps high-fiving :P

Arizona legal assistant Jessica Lanum's employer, Jacoby & Meyers Law Offices, nominated her for the Arizona Daily Star's list of outstanding employees that helped their companies excel in 2011. Described as willing to go the extra mile, intelligent, hard-working, and loyal, it's also extremely cool that her supervising attorneys publicized how valuable she is to the firm.

California paralegal Barbara Liss wrote an editorial to the Santa Barbara Independent, opposing a county ordinance that would harm mobile home residents. Kudos to Barbara for speaking up!

Colorado paralegal RoxAnn Mack is featured in the Longmont Daily Times-Call for her impressive record of pro bono and community service. Winner of the 2011 CBA Pro Bono Paralegal of the Year Award, RoxAnn represents the best of the profession.

Florida legal assistant Preston Kuhlman got a new three-bedroom home through Habitat for Humanity. He contributed over 500 hours of sweat equity to qualify for the purchase. After 16 years of living in a mobile home, he is thrilled to make the move and appreciative of the organization's work to make it happen. Congratulations, Preston!

South Carolina paralegals employed by Collins & Lacy, P.C. were the subject of a proud press release from the firm, announcing their leadership roles in 2012: Barbara Spearman, President of the South Carolina Upstate Paralegal Association; Daysha Bonner, Co-Chair of the Pro Bono Committe for the South Carolina Upstate Paralegal Association; Vickie Baker, First Vice President and Eduction Chairman of the Palmetto Paralegal Association; Cyndi Miller, Chair of Ways & Means Committee of the Palmetto Paralegal Association; Kelly Spinks, Chair of the Employment Information Committee of the Palmetto Paralegal Association; and Roshel Tuska, Secretary of the Palmetto Paralegal Association. It's great to see a law firm sharing the news of its legal staffers' accomplishments and service to the legal profession.

Texas paralegals, Elle Glenn and Misty Hardy, employed at Hughes Watters Askanase, were certified by the Texas Board of Legal Specialization (TBLS) in real estate law. Only 15 paralegals have achieved the certification to date. Way to go!

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Got good news to share? Send it to lynne.devenny@gmail.com. Practical Paralegalism also welcomes your easy one-dish and crock-pot recipes, professional profiles (see tab at the top of the blog), and guest posts (@500 words) about paralegal stuff, including short essays, how-tos, resource-sharing, or even your career-dressing tips and photos.

Paralegal Career Dressing: More Thrifted & Gifted

The Teen gave me another Merona cardigan for Christmas. To be honest, I think I'm most comfortable wearing cardigans. They make getting dressed for work super-easy.

I almost didn't get any pics for this outfit, because the wind was blowing like crazy. I was glad I went with trouser jeans that day, because I ended up starting a client meeting while my supervising attorney was on her way back from court. That's one reason business casual in a law firm should err on the conservative side; you never know who you'll end up seeing that day.

Merona cardigan (Target - gift); Kenneth Cole trouser jeans (thrifted @$9); Ribbon cami (Rugged Wearhouse @$3); Bow flats (Ross Dress for Less @$14); Earrings (Steinmart); Belt (swiped from a dress)

Most of the pics turned like this - messy :)

That didn't help either.

What's your favorite source for cardigans?